Staggering Cow by Chris Cooper

A funny thing happened at deetswood wines today

They worked the wine and strained it through, in the usual way

Perry scratched his head and wondered what on earth he could do

With all the seeds and skins, after the wine pushed through.

There was an awful lot of waste, and it was quite a job

So if he put it over the fence the problem would be solved

He shovelled it all out of sight, never thought of it again

Knowing it would soak into the ground the next time that it rained.

Now deetswood is a peaceful place, cows grazing two by two

The serenity broken only by customers driving through

The cows were standing idle, each one without a care

When one cow stopped in her tracks and sniffed upon the air.

Well I didn’t know cows liked a drink but I guess I never asked

Anyway she thought she’d have a tipple just as she wandered past

She didn’t stop with just the one; it really was quite a drop

And as often happens everywhere didn’t know when to stop.

Perry thought he’d take a little walk, the light was growing dim

But his eyes just weren’t ready for the sight that lay before him

This poor cow staggered drunkenly, bent over at the knee

Her eyes were spinning round and round her grin as crooked as can be.

Well I guess that they called the vet, poetic licence doesn’t care

As long as each line rhymes you write anything you dare

I swear at Leech’s Gully the cows all stand in line

Waiting until it is their turn to tipple deetswood wine.